What My Daughter Has Taught Me About Being A Mom...So Far!

I read a lot while pregnant and still pick up my Dr. Sears, The Baby Book from time to time to check in on how we are doing. There are things I did not learn from books about being a mom, many of those things I have learned from my daughter surprisingly enough! I thought I would share some of those things with you.

1. Listen To Your Children- I will always remember the evening when I was trying to console Zoe's fussiness. All of my normal tricks were not working and I decided I would put her in the Ergo and take her on a walk. I put her down on her bed and went to put on my shoes and came back to find her sound asleep with her thumb in her mouth! "What? You didn't need me to help you fall asleep?" I learned then I was keeping her awake, by trying to comfort her. I learned to listen to her from then on and to read her ques. She yawns, rubs her eyes, squawks, then cries if I haven't caught onto her earlier signs of baby communication. This lesson made my job so much easier and Zoe much happier!

2. Don't Over Parent- This goes along well with lesson number 1. One morning I was having a hard time waking up. I heard Zoe had woken up, but I just wanted a little more sleep. I decided since she wasn't crying or making her pre-cry squawks I would wait and keep my eyes closed a little longer, until she let me know she was ready! What happened? She fell back to sleep and so did I. I woke up after about another hour or so of sleep and realized then at I was over complicating things by over parenting. The next mornings to come I tried this new waiting to get up thing until I heard her ques of "I'm ready for my breakfast Mama!" I learned that when she wakes up she needs a little time to wake up before she is ready to be picked up and fed. This has become one of my favorite parts of the day. Zoe will play for about 20 minutes in her bed as she is waking up (see video number 1). She examines and turn her hands in the air and looks at the ceiling or pictures on the wall. She also scoots around in her bed and kicks. It's really fun to secretly watch her playtime. I get up and get ready for her feeding and when I come back into our room and she greets me with a huge smile and kicks and waves her arms in excitement! How could I not enjoy the morning with such a welcome!

The important thing in these lessons I have learned is to respond to ques of I'm ready, done, finished, hungry, tired, etc. It's amazing when you can learn their ques and respond to their needs quickly! This is not over parenting, but communicating with your baby, in doing this there are less tears and more trust. I never let her "cry it out" as some methods of parenting suggest, because I believe it breaks the trust your child has in you. I will say by "cry it out" I don't mean fussy tears, I mean screaming upset crying. I don't believe you are spoiling them by helping them and reacting to their cries. Your natural response is there for a reason.

 

Video 1.

 
3. Most Baby Milestones Happen Without Your Help. When Zoe was turning four months old I pulled The Baby Book off of the shelf to check in on how we were doing. I read the four month old milestones and felt a little guilty that I hadn't been doing the recommended 15 minutes of tummy time per day. I didn't make her have tummy time is because she hated it and cried within a few seconds of being put in that position. I decided to listen to her and give her small amounts of tummy time here and there when she would go for it. Once she cried I ended it. The day after she turned four months old. I decided we had better have some tummy time. I placed her on her tummy and within a couple of minutes she rolled over! I was shocked and proud of my little girl for figuring it out on her own (see video 2)! I learned milestones like rolling will happen without you teaching them how to do it, just like teeth and smiles and laughter will come on their own. That is not to say you aren't there to encourage them, but you don't have to worry so much about it! Enjoy where they are at today and what they can or cannot do. If they are not crawling or walking yet, don't worry, enjoy the time you have before you have to start chasing them! It will happen when they are ready.

 

Video 2.

I will say five months of being a parent has not made me an expert by any means! These are things I have learned from my experience with Zoe so far, our next baby (someday) will probably be different and I will write another blog entry then! I know everyone's situation is different. There are things I do wrong! What I have learned from Zoe is listen to your baby and try to learn their ques, parenting will become easier when you do. If you can, try to let go of some of the worry, guilt, and control and enjoy whatever your baby is doing today, because tomorrow it will be different!