My house is a metaphor for my mind.

This week I had a daydream that I took everything out of our house and only let a few things come back in. Ideally I would sell off the excess and make some extra money for us, but really that would just be more work and stress. I crave freedom from the burden of stress and stuff. My mind is as cluttered as the house we live in and I can't seem to organize my thoughts to find the next step or what is truly the priority. A blank canvas is what I dreamt of. I tried to stall my mind to think of what I would put back on it. I would put Jon and Zoe of course, but they also bring stuff with them. Jon and I have common goals of what we want and what we want to do in life, but I'm not sure he shares my goals for minimalism! Zoe comes with diapers and clothes, lotions and toys, and more things than any three month old probably knows she needs or probably needs. I know we need things like food, shelter, and clothing, but I would like us just to have a place setting each and a frying pan and a pot. For less dishes to need to be done. Less stuff to worry about. It may sound extreme, but something about it sounds wonderful. Really I just want to store less and free ourselves of the burdens of managing and cleaning stuff, when we could be doing other things with our time.

If you cannot tell my life is feels chaotic right now. Maybe me looking for a new house to rent or buy this week is less about our rent getting raised next month and more about wanting some new headspace? Or my desire for less stuff and a minimalistic life is about wanting to clean out the burdens we carry each day. Work family, baby, cancer, meals, bills, pregnancy weight, weight of our burdens. The day to day of life is hard, it hurts, it's busy. There is joy and blessings, there is much to be thankful for and much to pray for. I dream of a day when we have less in our house and in our lives, less stress. I don't know if that day will ever come. I hope, pray, wait, sit and rest when I can, and then get up and get going again. Other times I just let it wait until tomorrow.