What My Daughter Has Taught Me About Being A Mom...So Far!

I read a lot while pregnant and still pick up my Dr. Sears, The Baby Book from time to time to check in on how we are doing. There are things I did not learn from books about being a mom, many of those things I have learned from my daughter surprisingly enough! I thought I would share some of those things with you.

1. Listen To Your Children- I will always remember the evening when I was trying to console Zoe's fussiness. All of my normal tricks were not working and I decided I would put her in the Ergo and take her on a walk. I put her down on her bed and went to put on my shoes and came back to find her sound asleep with her thumb in her mouth! "What? You didn't need me to help you fall asleep?" I learned then I was keeping her awake, by trying to comfort her. I learned to listen to her from then on and to read her ques. She yawns, rubs her eyes, squawks, then cries if I haven't caught onto her earlier signs of baby communication. This lesson made my job so much easier and Zoe much happier!

2. Don't Over Parent- This goes along well with lesson number 1. One morning I was having a hard time waking up. I heard Zoe had woken up, but I just wanted a little more sleep. I decided since she wasn't crying or making her pre-cry squawks I would wait and keep my eyes closed a little longer, until she let me know she was ready! What happened? She fell back to sleep and so did I. I woke up after about another hour or so of sleep and realized then at I was over complicating things by over parenting. The next mornings to come I tried this new waiting to get up thing until I heard her ques of "I'm ready for my breakfast Mama!" I learned that when she wakes up she needs a little time to wake up before she is ready to be picked up and fed. This has become one of my favorite parts of the day. Zoe will play for about 20 minutes in her bed as she is waking up (see video number 1). She examines and turn her hands in the air and looks at the ceiling or pictures on the wall. She also scoots around in her bed and kicks. It's really fun to secretly watch her playtime. I get up and get ready for her feeding and when I come back into our room and she greets me with a huge smile and kicks and waves her arms in excitement! How could I not enjoy the morning with such a welcome!

The important thing in these lessons I have learned is to respond to ques of I'm ready, done, finished, hungry, tired, etc. It's amazing when you can learn their ques and respond to their needs quickly! This is not over parenting, but communicating with your baby, in doing this there are less tears and more trust. I never let her "cry it out" as some methods of parenting suggest, because I believe it breaks the trust your child has in you. I will say by "cry it out" I don't mean fussy tears, I mean screaming upset crying. I don't believe you are spoiling them by helping them and reacting to their cries. Your natural response is there for a reason.

 

Video 1.

 
3. Most Baby Milestones Happen Without Your Help. When Zoe was turning four months old I pulled The Baby Book off of the shelf to check in on how we were doing. I read the four month old milestones and felt a little guilty that I hadn't been doing the recommended 15 minutes of tummy time per day. I didn't make her have tummy time is because she hated it and cried within a few seconds of being put in that position. I decided to listen to her and give her small amounts of tummy time here and there when she would go for it. Once she cried I ended it. The day after she turned four months old. I decided we had better have some tummy time. I placed her on her tummy and within a couple of minutes she rolled over! I was shocked and proud of my little girl for figuring it out on her own (see video 2)! I learned milestones like rolling will happen without you teaching them how to do it, just like teeth and smiles and laughter will come on their own. That is not to say you aren't there to encourage them, but you don't have to worry so much about it! Enjoy where they are at today and what they can or cannot do. If they are not crawling or walking yet, don't worry, enjoy the time you have before you have to start chasing them! It will happen when they are ready.

 

Video 2.

I will say five months of being a parent has not made me an expert by any means! These are things I have learned from my experience with Zoe so far, our next baby (someday) will probably be different and I will write another blog entry then! I know everyone's situation is different. There are things I do wrong! What I have learned from Zoe is listen to your baby and try to learn their ques, parenting will become easier when you do. If you can, try to let go of some of the worry, guilt, and control and enjoy whatever your baby is doing today, because tomorrow it will be different!

Sometimes You Get What You Need.

I think these Rolling Stones lyrics sum up the last six weeks perfectly! Yesterday while driving with my arm stretched around the seat with my finger in Zoe's mouth to calm her cries. I was pondering the thought that the Lord doesn't give us more than we can handle and that He gives us what we need, which can stretch us as farther than we think we can be stretched!

Zoe is attached to me, she needs me to hold her and comfort her and often no one else will do. This is not always what I want, because I need to do things like shower, eat, go to the bathroom! It's what she needs at this moment, so my needs fall to the back burner. I tell Jon not to worry, with the Dad she has, she is soon bound to be a Daddy's girl for the rest of her life and she will forget about me!

Zoe has changed how we do things, we are still trying to learn what her routine is, but it changes everyday. So, I make plans and she changes them! I want to go out for a walk and she just wants to stay in and eat, all day! My milk supply is still not enough for her needs, but that doesn't matter to her she still needs the comfort of nursing, this is how she falls asleep. This is what I find amazing, and such a gift. She could reject nursing and stick to the bottle, but she prefers nursing and whatever milk I give her. I wish I could give her all the milk she could ever ask for her. We can't always get what we want, but we have been given all that we need.

Last month I was worried we were going to have to give her formula, because the donated breast milk we had was always running low, we needed more mom who could donate. I was referred to a couple of forums for donating milk one is a Facebook group called "Eats and Feets" and the other is a website called MilkShare. I had posted requests for milk donations, but didn't have any responses. I kept checking and praying for milk to start pouring down. One day while I was nursing my friend Amiee texted and asked us if we wanted a mini freezer. She needed to get rid of for her move. I said yes without hesitation and they delivered it a few days later. Then about couple days later while nursing I checked the forums again. There were three new posts from Mom's looking to donate milk. I emailed all of them and two of them emailed back saying I could have their freezer full of milk. I got a couple of coolers, we fed Zoe a lot before getting into the car and heading off for a little road trip. We went to the first house and the mom took me into her garage and opened a freezer and said I could have whatever I wanted. It was the mother load of milk! She said she didn't have enough milk for her daughter the first week and started pumping and hasn't stopped for fear her supply would run out. I was in awe of what we were being given. I loaded up both coolers with all of the milk that would fit and gave her a hug and thanked her. Jon and I were totally in shock with how much milk we had just been given. We still had to go to the second house to collect a freezer full. We stopped by Target and bought a couple of coolers to take whatever they had for us. We got there and she had a box ready to hand us. It was a normal refrigerator size freezer full, which was less than I thought, but still a huge blessing. We took it all and when we got back home our new freezer was full to the brim and so was our refrigerator freezer! The milk had poured down on us and we were taken care of. So much stress had been lifted off of my shoulders and Zoe still hasn't had formula, thanks to many generous mom's out there.

To put what we had been given to perspective. There are some mom's who try and sell their milk for $2-3 dollars an ounce on Craigslist. If we had to buy the milk we have used so far since that day it rained milk, we would have paid $600-$900 for it and we still have a freezer full! What a blessing.

Zoe's First Week Challenges.

Wow! What a week this has been, my uncle passed away after finding out he had cancer this last month, we made a trip to the childrens ER, and my parents were staying with us, and then there were all of the hours getting to know Zoe. We are tired to say the least! There is more to say about all of this, but I will tell you about why we ended up in the ER and what has been happening with Zoe.

So, Saturday and Sunday were great, we didn’t get a lot of sleep and I was pretty sore from the stitches and breast feeding. I felt like breast feeding was going pretty good. Monday, was the third day breast feeding, which is when you are suppose to get your milk in. Monday night I noticed it was in and I fed her and she conked out for an hour or more. In the middle of the night she was having problems falling asleep and then she began a crying fit. It was awful, nothing would console her, she was searching for my breast, but not latching onto it, because she was so upset and she would get more and more frustrated. Jon and I watched a DVD called Happiest Baby On The Block before she was born, the technique they teach which was incredibly helpful in this situation. Jon swaddled Zoe tightly and cradled her in his arm and gently rocked her while making a shhh noise. I let her suck on my finger and it calmed her down enough to where she would feed again. Jon was proud of himself, as he should be for saving the day! We were able to go back to sleep for a little bit, but this was the first of many crying fits that happened over the next 24 hours. Zoe and I got very little sleep throughout this. I was holding her all of the time and could hardly put her down before she would begin crying again. The crying turned into fits and as the fits progressed, Zoe would make a whimper noise that broke both of our hearts. Her mouth would get really dry and her cry started to sound hoarse. Eventually she would wear herself out and would nurse and sleep. Swaddling and letting her suck on my fingers would help a little, but only for a short time. I finally got to a point that I didn’t know what to anymore. I was worried about her, and I was worn out.

Wednesday morning I called our midwives to get some help. They suggested we bring her in and weigh her. They would also take a look at her to see if they could give us more advice. Jon had to go to a class that morning, so my dad took Zoe and I to the midwives. Heather, one of our midwives weighed her and told us that she weighed 6.12 pounds, which was almost one pound down from her birth weight. I couldn’t hold back the tears and I still can’t now while writing this. I was devastated. It's normal for babies to lose weight the first week, but that is usually 7-10%. Zoe had lost 12% in the first four days. I felt awful, I knew I did the best I could, but it wasn’t enough to help her. The other troubling thing was her heart rate was low, which was weird, because if she was dehydrated it should have been higher than normal. Heather consulted with the pediatrician we were planning on seeing that week. They both didn’t like that and thought we should take her to the Childrens Hospital ER to have her looked at further. This worried me more. I like to stay out of hospitals, that‘s why we birthed out of one! Heather, also wanted to let me know that if we took her to the hospital they would probably want to supplement her with formula. This made me cry again.

I have a strong conviction breast feeding is best and formula should be avoided at all costs. I believe this, because a baby’s bowels are a delicate ecosystem and even one bottle of formula can throw off that balance and make them more susceptible to allergies and illnesses. I also do not trust the sources of soy or milk that formula companies use. Most soy, even organic is cross-contaminated with genetically modified organisms (GMOs). Things I do not want to introduce to my baby ever. Let alone on her first four days of life! You might not agree with me on this point, but I decided we would not supplement with formula, but with donated brest milk. Heather told us that if we wanted to supplement with donated breast milk, that she knew of a mother who has a large amount available and she lived in are neighborhood. I told her that I would like to contact her and she gave us her information. I also called my sister-in-law Megan to see if she knew anyone else who had extra breast milk. Then I called Jon and had him call the mother Heather told us about. He went and got milk and started warming it, so that we could feed it to Zoe on the way to the ER. Dad, Zoe, and I left the midwives for home to drop of my dad and pick up Jon and some things that we needed. On the way to the hospital I fed Zoe a bottle in the car, which she took down well. When we got to the hospital they weighed her again and checked her heart rate. It was up from the midwives, which I attribute to the bottle of breast milk she had.

Megan met us at the ER to be with us, but she also brought us a bag of breast milk she collected from mom’s that she knows. She said that she traded the breast milk for some halibut that she had bought that week from a fisher man! We all had a good laugh about how it could look like a drug deal to people! I am so grateful for Megan’s support and the generous mothers who donated milk to Zoe.

Zoe had a second bottle at the hospital and immediately took a big poop! It was what she needed for her system to pick up and get going again. It was after this we saw a huge change in her. She was content with her eyes open. We hadn’t seen her eyes open since the day she was born. She also wasn’t crying anymore. She was happy to be held by Jon and others and she slept a lot! It was amazing! She was back to being the sweet little baby we met the day she was born. The diagnosis was that she was not getting enough milk from me, and we could go home if we agreed to a plan with the doctor’s, which included supplementing her with the donated breast milk and for me to begin pumping to help my milk supply and to get some much needed rest. That night we went home and I went to bed, Jon stayed up with Zoe and fed her and finally got some good quality time with her. It was what we all needed. I had asked Heather how much she should be sleeping and she said average is 2-3 hours, which sounded glorious to us! We had been getting much less than that the last few nights.

On Friday (two days later), we went her first pediatrician appointment where she was weighed at 7.8 pounds! We all celebrated her being able bounce back to almost where she started. Zoe is a little fighter! Heather told us that it was so good that she let us know something was wrong, because most babies will just sleep more when they are not getting enough food. Their parents will think it’s great getting more sleep and not know something is wrong. We are feeling much more positive about life with a baby! Jon and Zoe have been able to bond and they are really cute together! I have gotten more rest and have been pumping while feeding Zoe to help get the milk flowing! We have gotten more milk donated to us and I am again so grateful to the mom’s who have helped us. I feel like paying it forward when I have more milk to give. Zoe's first week didn't go as planned, but there was a lot of good and amazing things that came from it. We are so in love with Zoe and so blessed to have her.

On to week two!

Nesting Part 3: I take back everything I said before!

In preparation of a coming baby shower I tried to finalize my registry lists, which made me realize that the majority of items on my Target registry were only available online and also available through  Amazon.com (the other place I registered). I decided to go with the original registry at Babies R US instead of the Target registry, because they have better selection at the store and online. I went to Babies R Us the other day and finalized my list. I would also like to say in a previous blog I mentioned that I don't like Carter's brand items, I would like to clarify and say I do like some of their clothing items, but not the furniture!
Registering has not been my most favorite part of being pregnant. I will be glad when all of the prep will be completed!

Nesting Part 2: Getting Crafty

In my last post I mentioned I bought a high chair off of Ebay, but what I didn't say was it's a vintage Cosco chrome high chair!.Wondering why I went with this highchair? First of all I love the style and that there is no plastic whatsoever on it, which makes me very happy! Secondly, it's much smaller than most high chairs on the market right now, which is great for our small house. Thirdly, it's easily customizable with new fabric or vinyl, which is something I took advantage of. And finally, I paid $22.51 for it and $18.00 for shipping, not too bad I'd say! I think it might have been less expensive than other vintage Cosco chairs, because it was covered in a weird creepy clown print, but not a problem when you plan on recovering it! 

To recover the seat all you have to do is find a fabric or vinyl you want to cover it in. You'll need about 3/4 of a yard of 44" wide fabric. There are four screws on the seat back of the high chair (as seen in the photo), which holds the back of the chair on. Take a Phillips screwdriver and remove the four screws. Pull off the part with the cover. You can remove the old vinyl easily, because it is not attached or glued in.  You'll want to use the old vinyl for a pattern to cut out the fabric you are using. Cut the fabric according to the pattern, but leaving half an inch to an inch of extra fabric around the pattern. There is padding on the seat already, but you could remove the padding and replace it . I used the same padding, because it was clean and I didn't really want to bother with it! I will say I have removed the padding from a vintage Cosco chair before and it was a total mess. You'll need a garbage bag close by and maybe a face mask, because it separates and gets all over. The next thing you'll want to center the fabric over the padding and pull it tightly around the seat back. I used tape to hold the fabric down, I am sure there are other things you could use that would look better, but no one will see it! After the fabric is secure on the seat back place it back on the chair and screw back in.

Next you'll turn over the chair and take the bottom seat apart. This is a little bit more tricky, because there are ten tabs (see photo) you'll need to pull back with either pliers and/or a Flat Head screwdriver. Take off the seat cover and repeat the same steps as done with the seat back. Replace the seat cover after cover is secure and fold tabs back down.

If you are using fabric you may want to cover the fabric with clear vinyl or use Scotchguard fabric protector, so it will not get stained when your child uses it. I am planning on using the fabric protector, but I still might go back and cover it with clear vinyl. I have time to decide and it's so easy to take off the covers and add the clear vinyl later. 

Here is what our high chair looks like now. I'm so happy with how it turned out!

Nesting: Part 1- Baby Registry = Panic!

Nesting is a funny time in pregnancy. I am motivated more than I have been in the last 6 months, but it has also come with some anxiety too. I don't know what I need or want for the baby and have felt at times it would be easier if I knew the sex of the baby or even meet the baby before I start registering for things. I would also like to see what I need as we go along, because I think the stores try to sell you on things that you might need, but probably can live with out. I have been thinking about what did people do before the big baby stores came along. My guess is people had less stuff and maybe a few more inconveniences, but their babies grew to be adults just fine. The other thing that I have struggled with is not finding anything that I really like. I don't want a lot of plastic crap that is made in China, which is in most of the big stores out there, it makes me cringe when I see it, especially brands like Graco and Carter's. I am sorry if you like them, that is fine I'm not saying other people can't, but I just don't! I don't think they have any great design aesthetics and the matchy-matchy, soft colors, poor quality, and the price tag attached to them are the main things that bother me about them. I am probably weird, I know that already, but I just cannot pull myself to register for stuff that I hate! So, I decided I should try to find somewhere else to register.

I decided to delete my first registry and start over at Amazon.com. Here is why, they have everything you could possible want for your baby and they also have this amazing button, which lets you add things you love from other websites to your registry. Amazing! I have stuff from Amazon.com, Target, Babies are Us, Tottini, Baby Gap, Blabla, and others on my registry and it's all stuff that I love and am excited about! The other amazing thing about Amazon.com is right now you can join Amazon Mom for free and they give you many discounts on baby stuff, but they also give you free two day shipping (also known as Prime shipping) on all of Amazon.com for joining. This comes in handy when you are shopping for the holidays, for gifts, grocery items, books, and well just about anything. I have become addicted! Sometime I don't want to go out shopping or when I am out of something like prenatal vitamins, I buy it on Amazon.com and I get it two days later delivered to my doorstep shipped for free! It's going to be even more handy after the baby comes. Anyway, all of this to say this is where I decided to register and I am excited about it! I also have made a registry at Target, for all of the people who want to go into a store and pick something out or are not comfortable shopping online. I have to say I was a little disappointed with the selection at the Target store by my house, but they actually have a lot more stuff online that I love, like Dwell Studio for Target, bedding, bibs, and clothes.

The other thing I have been doing in my nesting phase is shopping on Craigslist, Ebay, and Etsy for items that I really want for our baby, but cannot afford to buy new and would rather buy used anyway. So far I have bought our Peg Perego stroller and travel system in Orange for $50 from someone on Craigslist and our high chair, baby bouncer , baby bath, and baby seat off of ebay all for 50-75% less than what they normally retail at. I started to buy some of this really early on in the pregnancy, because I knew I wanted these items and kept my out for them on Ebay and Craigslist. It has worked out really well and I am excited to use them when our baby comes!

I am still not sure if I have everything on my registry that I need to have, if you think I have missed something or have suggestions of must haves please leave me a comment! If it's Graco or Crater's brand I may have to pass, but promise I will try consider all suggestions openly!

28 Weeks: Hello Third Trimester! Reflections on things I wish people told me about being pregnant.

On Sunday we hit 28 weeks and I cannot be more trilled! It's another milestone in our pregnancy and now I feel we are on the downhill race to meeting our little peanut!

I would like to take this moment to share with you somethings most people to do not tell you about being pregnant. I feel the need share this, because I got the usual weekly update from TheBump.com informing me that this week I should expect to see colostrum leaking from my breasts! I was not prepared to read that nor do I have nursing pads ready in case this does actually happen! So, in case you are newly pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant, or just plain curious let me share some things other people do not often tell you about being pregnant.

First off, from the time my pee test showed positive marks that I was pregnant, this also seemed to active my bladder. I have to pee all of the time, but especially at night. One night in particular I counted 5 times I had to get up and pee. This does not equal a lot of good quality sleep to be had. It wasn't until week 24 that I actually slept through the night without having to get up and pee. I woke up and turned to Jon and said, "A miracle has happened! I slept through the night without having to get up and pee!" This miracle lasted about three weeks and then I was woken up by heartburn and a baby moving around so much I worried that it was having a seizure, it turns out that it just had the hiccups!

While I am talking about bathroom things, no one told me that being pregnant would sometimes cause the worst constipation you will ever have. The problem is unlike none pregnant constipation where you may not have the urge to go and feel all bloated and uncomfortable; Pregnant constipation must be a preparation for child birth, because you have the immediate urge to go, but you are quickly met with the most uncomfortable, unmovable, and often very large poops! This recently happened while we were at my in-laws house. I had to find Jon to ask him for help locating the plunger. He found it and helped unclog the toilet for me. Later he commented on the size of what was blocking the toilet, I was proud that he took such notice and care for me!

I guess there is one more thing that happens in the bathroom while you are pregnant and that is the morning sickness. For me it was at night and in the morning, but not everyday. The first time I got sick, it was because Jon was making breakfast for me. I usually cook the sausage patties in the microwave and he elected to cook them on the stove. The kitchen smelled of grease, which filled the air in our house, need less to say, my breakfast didn't stay down to long. What people do not tell you is 'morning sickness' can happen anytime! One night we turned off the lights and went to bed. Jon started snuggle into me. I had been trying to fight off the nausea for awhile and as he came into kiss me I yelled, "I think I'm going to throw up!" I quickly got up to ran to the toilet. I came back to bed after cleaning myself up and Jon asked if I was okay and then asked sweetly, if the thought of kissing him makes me want to vomit?! "No, Babe, it's just what happens while you're pregnant apparently!"

The last thing I will talk about is the weight gain. I have struggled with my weight most of my life. I have hypothyroidism, which I diagnosed with when I was a senior in high school. From my freshman year of high school to my senior year of high school I gained over 100 pounds. Yes, I can contribute some of this to unhealthy eating and lack of exercise, but my thyroid was also not working, which meant that my metabolism was not working, my periods were never really got going, I was depressed, and more sensitive to temperature changes, etc. So, since that time in my life I have tried to watch what I eat, exercise, and stay at a healthy weight. This has fluctuated over the years, but while you are pregnant you are inevitability going to gain weight and you should reconcile the differences in how you look at your weight as soon as possible. I will say this is harder said then done. I have gone into my monthly midwife appointments cringing as I step on the scale. The last three appointments I have gained 10 pounds per month, I asked my midwifes at last months appointment if this was normal for my height. They said, I shouldn't be too worried, and that they don't know what is normal pregnancy weight gain is for me yet. Last week I went in for my monthly checkup and got on the scale, this month I gained 12 pounds, I felt defeated, because I am inching closer and closer to where I was in my senior year of high school, before I was put on thyroid medication, my heaviest weight ever. I know I am pregnant and I will lose it after I have the baby, but it is hard knowing I still have three more months of weight gain. The books I have read say I am probably going to gain pound a week from here on out, I am hoping that is all I will put on! I feel heavy, I feel slowed down, and tonight I had to ask Jon for help with putting on my socks, because it's uncomfortable to bend over and do it myself! He was happy to help and was excited I was asking for his assistance. I am grateful for him and his encouragement. The midwives had me take a glucose test last week and are going to check my thyroid levels this week. The glucose test came back with great results, so good news there, no gestational diabetes! For, now I am trying to enjoy my baby belly, bigger breasts, and the help offered to me!

Prenancy Life So Far...

If you hadn't heard Jon and I are having a baby! Our due date is May 15th, and we are very excited. I haven't posted in a while, mainly because I have been exhausted most of the time and not feeling like doing anything. I am lucky if I get something in our bellies, that looks like a normal dinner, Jon has been very kind to not mind if I ask if we can get take out instead of cooking. Blogging is the last thing on my mind, I must say!

The first trimester was rough, I felt sea-sick most of the time, but my naturopath gave me the okay to eat things I crave even if I have an intolerance to them. So,I have been enjoying eggs, milk, cheese, and bread again, without too many problems, which also helped with the nausea. I guess the baby and I need what those foods have to offer, more than the problems they have caused before.

I was eating a lot of breakfast sandwiches and tea instead of coffee, until the old breakfast sandwich wasn't staying down anymore. I went back to eating gluten-free pancakes for awhile, and smoothies from Jamba Juice. I thought that I was done with the morning sickness, but a couple of days after I was eating my pancakes and eggs and complained to Jon that my stomach wasn't feeling good. It was about an hour later everything came up and I just went back to bed. It turned out that I had gotten the stomach flu and couldn't keep anything down for over 24 hours. The next morning I called our mid-wife practice (yes, we are going with a mid-wife instead of a doctor, but more on that later). Heather, the Mid-wife on-call answered and I told her what had been going on. I was worried about our baby more than anything. Heather told us we could either go to the ER to get an IV or meet her at the practice in an hour. We decided to go with the second option. Heather let us lay on one of the queen size birthing beds, as she gave me two bags of IV fluids. During that time we got to hear the baby's heartbeat again and it sounded perfect. Heather said, "It's amazing how well protected they are in there?" I felt a huge sense of relief after that and I felt a whole lot better after the IV's were done. By the next day I feeling almost like myself again. I was so grateful for Heather and for her helping us bypass the ER visit. It would have been a lot more expensive and time consuming having to go that route. This is one of the reasons we decided to go with a Mid-wife instead.

Being pregnant is an amazing thing. I am in awe of how we are able to create new life and how our bodies naturally grow and change to take on this life. I will try to post more now that I am out of the sickness and tired zombie phase!