To-Do List

Starting this blog has been on my To-Do list for the last two months, along with:

-start using screen printer
-finish reupholstering chairs
-sew
-write a budget and stick to it
-workout
-clean room
-organize my life
-call people I have been avoiding
-figure out what I am doing with my life

I just moved back home from living in Northern Ireland for the last year and a few months. I was working with a church in Belfast. My main duty was to help run a non-profit cafe that the the church opened in the university area of Belfast. The reason I moved back to Portland...I tell everyone, "I ran out of money, got burnt out on what I was doing, I am here to save up money and go back."

There is more to this story that I might discuss at a later point, but where I am at today is the main reason for righting this blog. My feet currently stand in Portland (or a suburb of), in my parent's house on a hill in that suburb, at work at a department store makeup counter, and on the peddles of my car when I drive in between. I am not sure where my feet with go tomorrow or the next day, but I hope that they will explore new places and retrace the steps which I have traveled once before.

I originally was going to name this blog "My Quarter Life Crisis." The reason for the name change, because I am no longer feeling my life is in a crisis. A few months ago, when came back to Oregon I felt confused and annoyed that my life had not connected yet. I am 27, not married, and now living with my parents again. I still do not know what I want to do with my life and I am not sure that I want to get ever get married and have kids, but I also do not know what I would do instead. I was hoping by moving back to Oregon, so that I could reconnect with myself and figure out what I really wanted to do. I figured that by coming home I could find a place of stability to accomplish it in. What I have found is far from the picture I originally had, which was one of creativity, motivation, and personal development.

My life today is chaotic, unorganized, and busy with work that I do not really care about. I fear a year from now I will be in the same place I am today, which is working lots and losing myself in the schedule placed on me. What is driving me is my fear of my future, instead of the excitement I have for life or a place in the distance I'm aiming for. I hope this part of my journey will be one of progress, instead of a crash site, or where it went all down hill! My hope is things will change and God has a plan, which is what is carrying me. I also want this blog to be a motivating factor in my life to check off the boxes on my To-Do list, to make more, and to be a mile marker to see I am really moving forward.