Disconnected from the connection.

It was only yesterday I found out John O'Donohue had passed away. I feel incredibly disconnected from my home in Ireland. I feel even more disconnected from my family there. I didn't know John O'Donohue well, I only had the opportunity to hear him speak a couple of times, both times were in Belfast in a building I spent many hours of my life in serving, learning, and living. I remember on a cold November night I walked late into the meeting, the room was warm and quite, with candles glowing. I didn't come with notepaper or a pen to write with, I almost didn't even make it myself. It was during a time in my life, which would be monumental in changing the course of my life's direction. I was exhausted and barely holding it together. I remember everyday being such a struggle, just wanting to sleep all day long and hope the next time I woke up something would have changed. I believe it wasn't depression I was going through, but my spirit was grieving a piece of me, which was going to end soon. My mind wouldn't accept the fate until my parents came the same week for Thanksgiving and suggested I move back to America to get my feet back on the ground and to rest. I was burned out and unable to let go of the place, the people, and the home, which existed for me in Belfast. It was this week, this time, this season of my life, I heard John O'Donohue speak. I will never forget it. I found an envelope in my bag and borrowed a pen to take notes. Later I wrote my notes down in my journal, which I found again tonight. It was these words John O'Donohue spoke into my life on a cold November night and on a Sunday morning in a little church in the middle of Belfast, a place I still call home:

It takes a whole life time to learn to live in your lifetime.

Recognise and embrace what your soul is.

There is a place within your soul, time, flesh ,nor any created thing can touch, hurt, or destroy.

The heart of prayer, spirituality, and love is a question of imagination.

If we pull back from ourselves we'll realize we have all we need for the purpose we were created for.

Those who forget their past are condemned to repeat it.

Where would you love to be met?

What is the furniture of your mind?

Do you hunger for being seen and heard?

In America you are what has happened to you, that is why people tell their stories. One's identity is always more interesting then their biography. The essence of the person will always have mystery.

We should engage ourselves with reverence. It is always amazing to give oneself freedom and possibility.

Conflicts arise when you move towards each other.

There are some things you can only learn from yourself, study yourself and learn what you want from your life.

The highest form of freedom is when you become all that you are meant to be.

If you are used to running away from yourself, then you'll find it hard to be with yourself.

Solitude is given to each in equal measure.

Get a notebook to write down dreams, thoughts, and what you think about that no one suspects. Use the notebook to be a mirror to your soul. Write down all of the questions that you have. The more you look the more you'll see...

The freedom to be yourself:

1. Peace of heart.

2. Compassion and Mercy.

3. Courage to receive oneself.

4. Forgiveness.

5. Harmony and Balance (there can be balance where there is none).

6. Wisdom- not the how question.

7. Creativity.

8. Responsible response not reaction.

9. Discovery of individuality.

10. Justice.

From Sunday morning...

Jesus must have had beautiful eyes, no one who saw them would ever be the same.

On the morning you discovered you were God, what would you do for the rest of the day?

If you want to kill God, rob him of His place within your soul.

Withdraw from distraction and enter into the sanctuary of creativity, that is deep within us.

Rhythm equals silence, stillness, and solitude.

Stress is a perverted relationship with time. You just need to slow down.

Silence- to over hear your soul's conversation with God.

Saying the things you don't need to say dulls the soul. Hearing the things you don't need to hear dulls your hearing.

Solitude is given in order to receive yourself.

There are things in your life that no one can help you with other then yourself.

We are all gods and goddesses with all the vulnerability and weakness that it carries.

It takes a long time to come home with yourself, but when you do it is a very beautiful thing.

John,

Thank you for your words during a time where I needed to be reminded of the possibility of myself. Thank you for being a friend to my family members, for touching all of our lives. Thank you for being a reflection of God's love, grace, and gentleness to me and to all of those who's lives you also spoke into.