30

I am turning 30 next week and feel the need to write about it! My sister started reminding me earlier this year that I am turning 30 when my knee started going out, she has also called me and emailed me many times this last week reminding me that I am joining the 30 club. I am not bothered by her teasing. I do not feel 30, I do not know what you are suppose to look like, act like, dress like, or have accomplished by the time you are 30. If there were such rules or standards I know that I would have them all broken. I am not married, don't have kids, I often feel like I am still searching for my calling or vocation. I think about going back to school or changing careers probably on a weekly basis. I am not well established now and I really hope that I never will be. I do not think that my body is getting old, I could take better care of it at times, but I am healthier now than I have been most of my life. I am not excited about leaving my twenties, because I enjoyed the many things I was able to do during them. I have been able to live in a foreign country, graduate college, live in nine different places in the last ten years, and some how managed to obtain a 9-5 job, which I thought that I would never do, but lets be real those hours are flexible! I am not afraid of turning 30 either, I am holding onto what I have gained so far in my life and hoping for much more in the future. I am excited about what is ahead for me, because I am no longer trying to figure out who I am or change myself to become what people want me to be. For that I am excited to step into my 30's ready for more.

On my last birthday I decided that I would spend my 30th in Paris, a place I have always wanted to go and with that I would also spend it around my friends in Ireland and on an adventure to Morocco. I didn't get to Ireland or Morocco, but I got to Minneapolis where I met four of my friend from Ireland last week. It was an unexpected surprise as it came about very quickly and the time spent there almost just as fun as Paris. I was able to see people I love and miss, ride on a roller coaster at 1o in the morning at The Mall of America, go tubing behind a ski boat, dance the night away, and have a break from life as I normally know it.

In my last 30 years I have learned to let go of some of the desires I have and enjoy what has been given to me. I do not believe it is settling for less, but enjoying more without all of the thought, doubt, guilt, which I will gladly leave in my 20's. I also set a goal to loose 30 pounds before my 30th. I am at 15lbs lost so far, which I feel good about, I am not worried about the rest or about reaching my goal by my birthday, because I have finally learned to give myself a break. I have been able to learn how to give myself grace when I fall down, and then motivation to try harder the next day, and confidence to never claim failure. I am on a journey to loving myself, life, and people more. I am celebrating life and the things I enjoy, with the people who make my life colorful, and for that I am proud of turning 30.

My friend asked me last night if I had a word for this next year, as a symbol of what it will hold. Tonight it came to me, the word is golden. It is my golden birthday as I turn 30 on August 30th, and I also am believing for a golden year, much treasure ahead and much exploring this new phase of my journey. Someone also said that I should celebrate for 30 days or 30 different ways. I will write more on that as it unfolds I already have a list forming!